The Scariest Thing I Will Ever Do ...

Being a parent is one of the scariest things I have ever done.

No. Scratch that.

Being a parent IS the scariest thing I have ever done.

I wasn't scared when I married B. I knew I loved him. I knew he loved me. We were awesome together. It was GOING to work.

Parenting doesn't work like that.

You receive this little bundle in your arms. And there you sit. Staring at each other with blank expressions. Wondering how it's all gonna' pan out. Hoping and praying it DOES pan out!

For the first few weeks of M's life, I constantly asked B, "Do you think he likes us? Do you think he likes us? Do you REALLY think he LIKES us?" I will never forget the first time I got a smile out of the little man. I exclaimed, "HE LIKES ME!!! HE REALLY REALLY LIKES ME!!!" It was one of the moments in life where you want to run around like a champion and scream out how awesome you are. (Note to self: Remember this story when teenage M is running around telling me he, in fact, does NOT love me, much less like me!!!)


I have realized though, that even WHEN M looks me square in the eyes, tells me he hates me and wants nothing to do with me -- it will not change my love for him. It will not change the fact that I still love that stinky boy-- for all he ever was and ever will become. It will not change the fact that my love will not waver-- despite what he ever does to hurt or disappoint me. I LOVE HIM!!! THAT will never change.

What an amazing picture of how God views us, His children!

Since becoming a Mommy, there have been moments where I have realized that God is truly the perfect parent to us. He always know what to say, what not to say, when to give us what we want, and when to just put our temper-tantrum-ing self to bed with no dinner! He is truly predictable in his unpredictability and (to us humans) unpredictable in his predictability.

I am constantly striving to be a better parent. I read all the latest parenting books. I make sure my son is "on track" and learning what he needs to. But, I'm not going to stop there. I don't want to parent only how Dr. Spock or the latest craze tells me to parent.

I am constantly striving to be a Godly parent. Not just trying to overcome my fears, flaws and failures by reflecting God's work in my life. (The Good Lord knows I have had MORE than a few of these rack up, even in these 2 1/2 short years) But be a Godly parent by actually pointing M to the most perfect parent He could ever meet-- God Himself. The One who can fill all the empty places me and B leave open. The One who has been there when He has gotten made fun of or rejected. The One who can answer those deep, gut-wrenching questions that would leave me standing there in silence. The One who will be predictably unpredictable. The One who will be unpredictably predictable. The ONLY One who can show Him what a perfect parent truly is.

And maybe someday when M shows up at our house with our first grandbaby and asks "Do you think she likes me?? Do you REALLY think she LIKES me?", I can smile and know that he finally understands why parenting is the scariest thing he will EVER do!!!!

TICKed off ... fo'sure

If you are easily grossed out ... just quit reading here ... seriously ...


So over the course of me living in Georgia, I have gotten bit by ticks like 4 or 5 times ... it is seriously one of the most DISGUSTING things EVER!!!!! But usually they just itch for a few weeks and then I'm over it.

Wouldn't you know ... One of the first days that B was gone in Europe, I had the amazing experience of getting bit, once again, by a little nymph on my hip and poor MTM got one on his back too. I got them off, made sure the "head" was still intact and prayed we wouldn't get Lyme Disease or some other tick disease! For goodness sake, we were just running in the neighborhood.

Well, I have been scratching and scratching and scratching my hip like CRAZY since ... and then, lo and behold, about 3 days ago ... a rash started forming.

Tick Bite + Rash = NOT GOOD!!!

So on Tuesday, I am going to the Dr. to make sure I don't, in fact, have Lyme Disease or some other tick disease!!! Luckily, the little man has shown no signs of a rash or other weird things.

I am truly TICKed off at this ENTIRE situation ...

My Life Painting

When I look at different seasons in my life I see dark times. I see light times. I see times where I was just cruising along and I see times of struggle.

In the midst of each situation, it always seemed quite random or even unconnected to the overall purpose of my life.

But if I take a step back ...

If I look at the overall picture of my life ...

I see a beautiful canvas ...
 

When you look at a painting up close, it may seem that there is too much dark or too much light or too much "blah" in that one part of the painting. However, take a step back and you realize that those different parts of the painting are what make the painting what it is.

So be encouraged. There is beauty in the dark times, the light times, the mundane and hard times.
Take heart. Nothing is random. Nothing is disconnected. Nothing is pointless.

Your life is a beautiful painting, being crafted by the MASTER artist. He knows what your life work will look like. He knows what your life will end up portraying. He knows what He is doing.

I cannot wait to see the finished masterpiece of my life's painting ...

Running the Race

I just completed Week 7, Day 2 of Couch to 5k.

Not gonna lie ... I am pretty proud of myself.
(Especially since the mercury sits at about 80 degrees -- even after the sun goes down or is about to come up.)

Which is why Hebrews 12 inspired me so much today:

"... get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us. We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up. We must focus on JESUS, the source and goal of our faith ..."



I have had this one sin/struggle in my life for almost a decade ... or longer ... and I am just sick of it.
I was talking to God about it (yet again) while running this morning, and He just popped this verse into my head. And then, in good God fashion, my devotions for today were based on Hebrews 12.

I sat there at lunch, eating my salad in disbelief as the words were laid out before me.

So extremely encouraging and so extremely amazing ...

Nighty Night

There is something extra sweet about little boys at night.

You know, after a bath, clean pajamas, teeth brushed, drink of water, arrangement of all the animals (total: 6), and "three books" (while holding up 5 fingers!)

Without fail, after the final book is read and M climbs up into his bad, he quietly pleads: "Lay down a minute, Mum-Mums." And I always say, "Well, just for a minute" and fold my legs up on his toddler bed, so we can lay together to pray and sing songs (that cannot be repeated nightly or a "already sang that one" is whispered in my ear).

Last night was no exception. However, as the final book was read and his plea for me to lay down was requested, he paused ...

"Lay down a minute, Mum-Mums."

(pause)

"For TWO MINUTES!!!"

(pause)

No SIX!!!!

(pause)
(pause)
(pause)

NO! THIRTEEN MINUTES!!!!"

I couldn't help but laugh and lay down ... for at least 6 minutes ...