Meal for a Princess

Why?
WHY?
WHY?!?!??
Why do we do this?

Maybe because we are human.
Maybe because we are weak.
Maybe because I needed some humbleness.
Whatever the reason -- I am asking WHY?


I have laid this big, black, ugly sin down.
I thought I had moved on.
I thought I was good.
It has been that sin -
that one -
that just-
Hoooooooooollllllddddssssss on to your heart.
Ya' know?

So I go along for awhile.
The urges die down.
I go about my life.
I begin to really move on.
And right when I think,
"Man! I am doing SO good!
This time I must really be over-over it!"
It comes back.
With a vengeance.

*POP!*
It's back!

So tonight, when I am fighting the urges, I hear:

"As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly."
Proverbs 26:11

I realize:
I have laid something down.
I have moved on from this sin that so easily entangles me.
There is NO REASON to return!
It is disgusting.
It has no nutrition.
It is waste.

Why would I feast on this imitation of a feast?
Why would I fest on this previously eaten meal?
WHY?
When I could be feasting on a full-course meal
that The Lord offers His children?
I am, afterall, a princess of The King.

What is a princess doing acting like a dog?
What is a princess doing crawling back to eat her vomit?

I will not be like a dog who returns
again and again
to a disgusting,
half-digested meal.

I want God's best.
I know that what I was looking at feeding my self
is NOT God's best -
much less fit for the meal of a Princess.

Lord, let me feast upon YOU!