Transition

In the last year we have had a major life transition. 

I think when the transition happened ... 

What those we left felt, 

we felt too. 

We have never been more unsure of the why behind the move and the timing and ... Pretty much everything. 

It was one of those times where God was giving B and I a task that neither of us was looking for, praying about, or desiring. 

We had a choice: obedience or disobedience. 

And believe me, I went kicking and screaming and cursing ... In the direction of obedience. 

It wasn't pretty ... 

And I am pretty sure God and I haven't had our last conversation about it yet ... 

Even a year later. 

The place we were had been our support and deep friendship for basically our entire marriage. 

A decade of comforts was being removed in a span of a few weeks. 

It sucked ... 

Hard. 

But there were friends around that I needed. 

I knew they cared, 

I knew they were thinking about me - 

but they also gave me space. 

It was great.

Whenever you leave a ministry, you have to step back and let it go and grow without you. 

If not, people either think you are meddling or can't let go. 

So in some ways - B and I drew back too because we knew we had to. 

We didnt want people to think we were still trying to be influential in where we had been and have anyone get the wrong idea. 

Plus- if we didnt back away from it, then getting settled in our new place would have been near impossible. (And honestly, it still was for a loooong time).

I think the last year has been one of the most confusing times in my walk with The Lord in about every which way I look. 

I don't know what he is doing or why he is doing it. 

He just is. 

The one thing B and I have learned this year is that God's desire for obedience trumps everything else: our egos, 

our plans, 

our pride, 

our comforts, 

our wishes, 

our hopes, 

our promises, 

our friendships, 

our ministries, etc. 

It's the hardest lesson I am learning yet. 

There are a lot of things about our ministry that I miss ... 

the people and spirit of togetherness. 

The genuine and caring spirit. 

But, obedience trumps us.

And so we press on and try not to question His reasonings.