Dirt Path Beginnings

This morning I woke up in a funk.
I was mopey and sad and couldn't put my finger on the reason.
Even my dear Hubby commented that I looked upset.
I had not even realized that I was showcasing all the glumness until he mentioned it.

Yesterday, I was around a bunch of babies.
I love babies.
I LOVE THEM!
However, when you are waiting for another baby to come -- sometimes the aftermath of no new, sweet bundle of baby in your arms can remind you of that big hole somewhere in your heart.

So there I was.
Perched on the tub.
Bottom lip puckered out.
Moping in my laments.

B tried to cheer me up with a pep talk and sweet encouragements.
I just nodded.

I know that SOMEWHERE down deep - he is right.
I don't need to worry.
Everything will work out.
It will be another amazing story of God's promise fulfilled.
But I was still melancholy.

Then, I blurted ou:

"I almost feel like I am walking down this old dirt path -
kicking stones -
because it's hot on this trail.
I am at the beginning of this loooong journey
- to who knows where???
And even though I have left the place I started -
I still got a long ways to go!"

And then I felt God say:
"But at least you are outside!!!"


***FLASHBACK TO MY JUNE 3rd POST***


And then I just laughed. I started laughing!

I AM OUTSIDE!!!

I AM OUT OF THE HOUSE!

THE SCREEN DOOR HAS SLAMMED BEHIND ME AND

I


AM


OUTSIDE!!!!!!



And isn't that just like a human?

We can't wait to get outside,
and then when we get there -
it's hot
and dusty
and a lot farther path to take than what we thought
on the inside.

I told B God's gentle reminder.
I repented of MY humanity -
for being a never-content child of God.
And the rest of the day, I smiled.

In my mind, I turned around on the dirt path -
noticed the house wasn't even that far behind me -
yelled a "Thank you!!!" to God -
And turned around to keep walking.


The journey has begun.
I am outside the house.
The screen door has closed behind me.
I am on my way to that beautiful place He has for me.